He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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