he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
