We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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