so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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