final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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