WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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