So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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