Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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