it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
