it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
