i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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