Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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