she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
