D3 body, D1 cock
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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