Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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