I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
