Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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