If i come over, it means nothing
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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