so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
