I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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