we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
