Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
