I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
