giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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