just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
