So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
