Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
