Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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