this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
smell my finger.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
