it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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