This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
