I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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