SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
