Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
