a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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