there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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