Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
