I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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