That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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