Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
