I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
