Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
