dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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