It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
