margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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