Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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