I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
