Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When are your genitals available?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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