Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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