Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
