please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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