Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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