the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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