You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
