So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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