your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
