i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
