I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
