I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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