my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
