Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize